THE WEEK!

TUESDAY: Went to liu jiemei's to teach a little bit... She is a member but we just discovered she really does not know much at all about the principles of the gospel... this equals a perfect opportunity for me and Elder Johnson (I am going to refer to him as EJ throughout the email for the sake of time... Elder Tang= ET hehehehe... funny.... He isn't from America... haha... get it?)
to practice teaching in Chinese (Especially because if we mess up it isn't a big deal, right?). ANYWAY.

I start giving a lesson... I start talking and then EJ starts reading the verses (while she is rolling out some dough on the table...). I ask her a few questions after the reading, and she just keeps rolling that dough while looking down as if I hadn't said anything! No acknowledgement whatsoever! I asker again, then she gives me the same answer she gave before the lesson ("So what does God whatn us to do with our time on Earth?" Her:"Help people." Me:"Yes, yes, that is right that is right... What do these scriptures say we can ALSO do to please Heavenly father?" Her: "Help people." Me: "Yes yes yes.... (The scripture was not about that at all but I gave up so we continued going) please continue Elder Johnson!")

So EJ keeps going and she keeps rollin her dough. Then, in the middle of the three verses, she gets up and just walks into a completely different room! We stop and look at each other for a couple seconds, then get up and follow her and EJ just keeps reading while she is grabbing some pots and pans! She then pauses and looks at us and chuckles. She grabs her jpig pot, some oil, and salt and walks back to continue pounding that dough. I then ask her another question and she just keeps her head down and works the dough-- no acknowledgement! I then started to have fun with it and stood right across from her and the dough and started trying to make some analogy between the dough and the gospel. My companions were busting up laughing, but she still didn't say anything. I then stopped and waited for her to reply and she lifted her head (YES!), but looked at ET (the Chinese elder) and totally starts talking about bread(NO! D:)!
I don't know if she is going to want us to return once we lose tang zhanglao (ET) next transfer, because she loves talking to him about things (in Chinese) that completely go over me and EJ's heads.

Let's fastforward to Thanksgiving!...

We had two member meals that day! (HOORAH!)
First meal was at the Mao family's house.... So I'm sitting across from a Chinese lady named Vicky, and I decided to practice some Mandarin.
.... She says "WOAH! Your Chinese is really really good!"
To which I respond "Thank you! Many people say that, but I have come to realize that Chinese people are either really good people or liars!"
I then hear some choking at the end of the table coming from the Chinese guys...
She then says "Who is a liar???"
Then I say "Chinese people are liars!"
(Remember, this conversation happened in Chinese....)

I then hear some more choking at the table and one of them says "PiaN zi, not PIAO ZI! Say it right!"

SO what really happened was I switched up the word Pianzi (liar) with the word "Piao zi", which means "slut"....

Anyone want to challenge me on awkward language mixup experiences on the mission??? That deserves a gold medal!

For the second meal, we went to a full on old lady Chinese tea party, pretty much. It was hilarious! They would stand up and say something they were thankful for, or introduce themselves a bit, and then everyone would clap! I legitimately felt like I was at an old lady debeutant thing. Elder Johnson could not get enough of it though-- oh he was clapping and smiling and giggling so big with all the other old ladies.
Oh, did I mention he was called "beautiful" by three old Chinese ladies? They would look at him and say "Oh, beautiful boy!" in English! Hilarious!
(He loved that. He definitely as a huge love for his blue eyes. And everything else about his looks hahahaha.)

Now let us fastfoward to Monday... Monday was zone conference! (This is why my PDay is today instead of yesterday...)
We always have a clean car competition, to which the winners get these restaurant gift cards...
Well, we cleaned out the car and washed it about 30 minutes before the competition...
We get there and they say "alright, park, and open up your hoods."
Well, we completely for got about under the hood...
We pop open the hood and what do we find?
PEANUTS.
There were PEANUTS under the hood! It was HILARIOUS! The missionaries got a good laugh out of that.
needless to say, we did not win that competition by a long shot.

Alright so here is a cool experience...
We are currently teaching a man who is a seriously decorated Paratrooper for the army. Now he acts as an inbetween guy for the Chinese and American Army. Needless to say, he is one tough man.
This is bryan hanson, by the way. He is American, but he knows Chinese so we teach in Chinese! Anyway... at the close of one of our lesson, this tough brawny military guy starts breaking down and has all these tears in his eyes! He then started to thank us for taking time out of our day to visit him and teach him the discussions and help him come closer to Christ. That was when I really started to realize that this stuff I am doing with so many others-- going around and spreading the gospel-- legitimately affects people's lives and helps them be so much happier. That was definitely an experience I will never forget.

I wish you all an amazing week! HAPPY DECEMBURRRRR! (I say burr because it is cold over here in this side of the country. Enjoy California, you spoiled people. Man, I want to live in Irvine so bad.... )